Thursday, November 19, 2009


I'm compiling a list of surefire ways to piss off a grader. This post will probably be added to as I encounter more atrocities.
  1. Write your solution on multiple pages, then don't staple them together. Bonus points if you can get your pages to separate from each other in a stack of solutions!
  2. Don't write your name on your paper. Pretend you were absent that day in kindergarten when they discussed this.
  3. Put your solutions in a stack of solutions to a different assignment, so when the grader thought s/he was finished grading a particular assignment, they can be overjoyed to discover SEVERAL MORE! Bonus points if you can get a solution to a homework set that was due multiple weeks ago into the current stack!
  4. Staple several different assignments together. Bonus points if you can achieve page crossover, so the grader can't just separate your assignments and put them in the proper stacks!
  5. Put your solutions in the stack for the other section of the class. This way, the grader gets to dig through all of their papers to find the *other* grade sheet so you actually get a score.
  6. Make your solution as disorganized and messy as possible, and don't include any sort of indications of your thought process. That way, if you get the wrong answer, but are close to the right answer, the grader will start removing their hair by the fistful as s/he wades through your work and tries to figure out how much partial credit to give you.
  7. Write with a really light pencil on graph/engineering paper with extremely dark lines. Bonus points if you have extra tiny handwriting!
  8. Do the wrong problem. Double bonus points if you manage to combine this with both 1 and 6!
  9. Staple your pages on the right-hand side. Never mind the fact that everybody else on the planet, nay, in the known universe staples their pages in the top left-hand corner. Just go ahead and be different for no conceivable reason.
  10. Or, staple your pages in the top center. This has the added advantage that it is extremely difficult to fold the pages over and look at the backside of the page. Naturally, you should distribute your work as evenly as possible across the two sides of the page, so that the grader has to do plenty of flipping back and forth if he wishes to continue to grade in a sequential manner.
  11. Trace your friend's answers. Bonus points if you trace it in class. Double bonus points if the professor is actually watching. (Real-life story, brought to you by a a friend of mine who was said professor.)
  12. Write something completely incorrect, then copy the answer out of the back of the book. Make sure to include any formatting peculiarities the book has. This won't tip the grader off at all.


Mope Loyal said...


Lisa said...

Hello, Just bloghopping. Great blog!

Be Well :)