Biking and barn dances

So this morning I was biking from the Institute parking lot down to President's Circle. It was pretty cold, and I was wearing fingerless gloves. In retrospect, this was probably a bad idea, and I'm going to be shopping for better gloves soon. Anyway, I was coming down the hill between the business building and the library, and I see a guy walking along the plaza. Well, I don't *really* want to hit him (unless he's a Democrat or a BYU fan or something JUST KIDDING), so I adjust my course to give him like a five-foot berth. Apparently he hears me coming or something, because he like half-turns around, then freaks out a little and goes, "WHOA, SLOW DOWN DUDE!!"

With that rather lengthy introduction, I now reach the main point of this post, which is to categorically refute this person's command.
a) Granted, I'm going rather fast, but
b) I totally saw you,
c) I gave you a five-foot berth,
d) I am riding under control
e) with a helmet on, and
f) it's like 7:45am on the Friday before spring break and therefore you're one of approximately thirty-six total people on campus. Therefore,
g) no, I'm not going to slow down, because
h) there is no rational reason to and also
i) I am rather enjoying my speedy morning bike ride.

All of that went through my head in approximately 1.3 seconds (a completely bogus and unscientific guesstimate), after which I said "whatever, man!" and started pedaling faster.

Also, it should be noted that barn dances totally rule.