Top Hat Rabbit

Moving

2010-08-18T00:10:00.001-06:00

I am moving my blog to Wordpress.

Giving

2010-06-20T23:37:00.006-06:00

Ever noticed that giving someone the perfect gift is super fun and makes you feel great? For instance (not to toot my own horn here), for Father's Day, I got my dad a Clive Cussler book. (Totally on sale at B&N for like $7, and plus, I'm going to read it after he's done. Can't go wrong.) I was a little worried that it was one he had read before, but it turned out that he hadn't, and I was all happy because he was all happy.

I've also noticed the same "all-happy" feeling when people enjoy something I've cooked. For instance, I had a late birthday party at my house a while back, where I made chocolate chipotle cakes. They turned out delicious, if I do say so myself, and a large part of my enjoyment of the evening came from having made something that my friends enjoyed.

Why do you think such actions, and in general, doing nice stuff for other people, engender such feelings? Allow me to answer my own question and pontificate a little bit.

In the case of cooking, I think at least part of it is the inherent satisfaction of taking a bunch of ingredients and creating something better. I imagine this is what artists feel when a painting turns out, or how musicians feel about composing or performing a great piece of music. Even in buying a gift, we take our fluid funds and convert them into an object of some sort. As humans, I think, we want ordo ab chao - we strive to create. I can't help but think that this desire is God-given, and reflects our potential as children of God.
Part of the satisfaction of giving a great gift is its emphasis on the relationship you have with the recipient. Not only do you know them well enough to want to give them a present in the first place, but you also know them well enough to know exactly what kind of thing they would want. Seeing the recipient's happiness is a confirmation to you that you know them well - that you guessed right! And then you're even more happy because not only have you done something good, you've done it well.
I don't think it's a coincidence that I started pondering this right before I came across Mosiah 2:17: "And behold, I tell you these things that ye may learn wisdom; that ye may learn that when ye are in the service of your fellow beings, ye are only in the service of your God." Serving God brings happiness. Serving our friends, through gifts or cooking or whatever other means, is serving God. Therefore, serving our friends brings happiness. That's right, I just threw down a categorical syllogism to make my point.

What do you think? Tell me your ideas in the comments. Or spam in the comments, but that'll get deleted.

Monday

2010-05-24T10:01:00.002-06:00

So last night I had an incredible dream, which involved chasing down drug runners in a car driven by Grant Gustafson. At one point, they had set up a blockade in this parking structure, and were waiting with guns drawn for us to drive through. Gustafson said something about having the element of surprise, so we drove (at a very reasonable speed) up to the blockade, then turned around. The drug runners promptly freaked out and couldn't shoot us properly, so we got away from the blockade, but then we got up to a traffic light and had to duck down beneath the level of the windows so the car would stop the bullets. However, since we were outside, they didn't dare shoot us, because they would have lost business for some reason, so we were all right.

Then I woke up and looked at my cellphone to see what time it was. 8:33?! Crap, I set my alarm for 6:55 because I had to be at work at 9:00! Except, when I looked closer at my alarm, I had set it for 6:55pm instead of 6:55am.

Then I looked out the window and it was snowing. It's May 24, and it's SNOWING. WHAT.

I finally got to work 35 minutes late, thanks to a) waking up 90 minutes late and b) snow-bound traffic. On the walk from the parking lot over to the math building, I was wading through a good inch worth of wet slush, which promptly infiltrated my shoes and irrigated my socks. Which became cold. So my feet were cold.

Ah Mondays.

[LaTeX] Adjusting row spacing in the matrix environment

2010-04-26T21:26:00.002-06:00

So I was attempting to typeset the Jacobian matrix, right? For some reason, the matrix environment decided it would be fun to put all my fractions in inlinestyle, even though I had the matrix wrapped in \[ \]. So I changed my \frac's to \dfrac's, only to discover that it typeset them uncomfortably close together. The solution, which I found at desk.stinkpot.org after lots of googling, is to manually adjust row spacing in the matrix. How do you do this, you ask? Why, it's quite simple -- by putting a spacing amount in brackets after your linebreak character:

\begin{vmatrix}
{\bf i} & {\bf j} & {\bf k} \\[5pt]
...

You're welcome.

Dinosaurs

2010-03-31T18:57:00.003-06:00

Monday I was at the eye doctor. Dr. Jeppsen was doing his thing with the bright light in the eyes and the magnifier thing. He paused for a moment, and said, "Hm, you have a small scar here on your left eye."

"Oh really?" I replied. "I didn't know that."
"Yeah, but it doesn't look like it would affect your vision."

I mentioned this to my mom after I got out of the appointment. "Oh," she said, "that must be from the dinosaur."
O_O WHAT.

Apparently, once, when I was a small child, I was playing on the lawn while my mom was cleaning out the motorhome. She threw a toy dinosaur out the door and its tail struck me right in the eye.

I was as disappointed as I'm sure you are to learn that my eye scar was not, in fact, caused by an actual dinosaur.

Spam, and San Diego

2010-02-26T21:57:00.002-07:00

1) I hate that I have to do this, but I'm turning on captchas for blog comments. I've been getting a lot of spam lately. So for those of you who actually want to leave comments, you can deal with it because I'm tired of deleting stuff.

2) I recently received an (all but formal) acceptance email from SDSU/UCSD's MSED program. This is awesome. The more I think about it, the less I'm convinced I should wait for the other schools to send me an offer. The MSED program is pretty cool, and the offer is rather attractive - tuition, fee waiver, they try to cover major medical, and a stipend of $19,500 the first year.

So I called the San Diego institute today, and the lady said that housing on their housing board generally goes for between $400 and $700 a month. This is a lot less than I was seeing on Craigslist, so I'm thinking $19,500 (which, if you don't want to do the math yourself, is $1625/mo) is pretty feasible to live on, even in SoCal where cost of living is higher.

To sum: Probably, really soon, I will be an Aztec and a Triton. Woo!

Dreams

2010-01-28T07:55:00.001-07:00

My dream last night: I was back on the mission (I have these dreams surprisingly a lot), but we were living in my house (except not really, it was kind of a combination of the East Pointe Cherry Grove apartment and my house), and the assistants shared the house with us. I was doing something or other, and it was past bedtime, but I wanted to finish whatever it was, so if anyone asked me, I was going to use the excuse that I didn't remember that bedtime was 10:30 because I just came back to the mission.

I was for some reason on the floor in the assistants' room around midnight, trying not to be seen while doing something important, when I heard some rustling and looked up to see Elder Poulin wearing an emerald green Spanish flamenco dress and heels, twirling around and clicking his castanets.

Later, my mom popped out of hiding and threw socks at me and I screamed.

Why math?

2009-12-21T14:48:00.004-07:00

The following was on the latest math department newsletter. It is a collection of responses of faculty and graduate students to the question "Why math?", compiled by Kelly MacArthur, the undergraduate advisor at Utah. Hopefully, if you're in another department and wondering why you have to take a math class, this will help you see how you'll benefit.

Lots of students understand the merit of cross-training at the gym. They willingly endure the tedium of repetitive exercises for isolated muscle groups in order to improve overall fitness. Nobody really lifts weights to get better at lifting weights (with the exception of, like, Olympic weight-lifters) - they do it to get stronger for other stuff. Similarly, most people won't use calculus every day, but learning calculus contributes to overall mental agility. A proper education should provide intellectual cross-training.
Successful students in math classes typically figure out that methodical, well-organized approaches to problem solving are much more effective than random, haphazard attempts. This is a valuable skill that translates well to anyone's life.
Taking a math class is simply part of a well-rounded education, like taking an art class, or a foreign language.
Mathematics exercises the brain, making students stronger thinkers in general. (This is kinda going back to the intellectual cross-training idea.) Math courses present a series of puzzles to solve and rules and procedures to use in solving them, with the purpose of strengthening analytical thinking skills.
As long as we're on the subject, let's talk about this "analytical" word for a second. "Analytical thinking" is a term that's bandied about a lot without people necessarily understanding it. The word "analyze" means "to break apart", so what you're doing is chopping what looks like an insurmountable problem into several pieces that you DO know how to solve. This is another one of those valuable life skills.
Students possessing the math skills found in these courses will be promoted more quickly in many jobs, will avoid being prey for financial scams, and will have the skills necessary to make informed decisions on significant issues. It's numerical literacy, and it's becoming more and more important in our world.
From a math graduate student: "On my first co-op job, I got hired to work at a bank helping the company implement/transition over to some new software that is used to evaluate stocks, bonds, etc. I asked my boss why he hired mathematicians for this job when there wasn't any "math" involved. "Wouldn't it be better to hire someone with a strong business/finance background instead of someone from math who doesn't know much about business?" I asked. He told me that he hires math students because of how they're trained to think, not what they know about the business world. Math students are trained to take apart a big problem, troubleshoot those pieces, and then troubleshoot putting the pieces back together again." (There's that "analytical thinking" thing again.)

Grading

2009-11-19T23:45:00.007-07:00

I'm compiling a list of surefire ways to piss off a grader. This post will probably be added to as I encounter more atrocities.

Write your solution on multiple pages, then don't staple them together. Bonus points if you can get your pages to separate from each other in a stack of solutions!
Don't write your name on your paper. Pretend you were absent that day in kindergarten when they discussed this.
Put your solutions in a stack of solutions to a different assignment, so when the grader thought s/he was finished grading a particular assignment, they can be overjoyed to discover SEVERAL MORE! Bonus points if you can get a solution to a homework set that was due multiple weeks ago into the current stack!
Staple several different assignments together. Bonus points if you can achieve page crossover, so the grader can't just separate your assignments and put them in the proper stacks!
Put your solutions in the stack for the other section of the class. This way, the grader gets to dig through all of their papers to find the *other* grade sheet so you actually get a score.
Make your solution as disorganized and messy as possible, and don't include any sort of indications of your thought process. That way, if you get the wrong answer, but are close to the right answer, the grader will start removing their hair by the fistful as s/he wades through your work and tries to figure out how much partial credit to give you.
Write with a really light pencil on graph/engineering paper with extremely dark lines. Bonus points if you have extra tiny handwriting!
Do the wrong problem. Double bonus points if you manage to combine this with both 1 and 6!
Staple your pages on the right-hand side. Never mind the fact that everybody else on the planet, nay, in the known universe staples their pages in the top left-hand corner. Just go ahead and be different for no conceivable reason.
Or, staple your pages in the top center. This has the added advantage that it is extremely difficult to fold the pages over and look at the backside of the page. Naturally, you should distribute your work as evenly as possible across the two sides of the page, so that the grader has to do plenty of flipping back and forth if he wishes to continue to grade in a sequential manner.
Trace your friend's answers. Bonus points if you trace it in class. Double bonus points if the professor is actually watching. (Real-life story, brought to you by a a friend of mine who was said professor.)
Write something completely incorrect, then copy the answer out of the back of the book. Make sure to include any formatting peculiarities the book has. This won't tip the grader off at all.

An open letter.

2009-10-17T21:04:00.001-06:00

Dear The Mtn.,

When are you going to stop using your Fisher-Price My First Video Camera to provide footage of football games? Or is it someone's cellphone camera? I bet it's someone's cellphone camera. Seriously guys, you can't even see the ball on kickoffs. Join the twenty-first century, take the money you're saving in your sportscasting budget (remember, if you pay peanuts, you get monkeys!), and buy some dang HD cameras.

Love,
Me
*grumble grumble crappy telecast grumble*

ROAD TRIP!!

2009-09-21T20:52:00.003-06:00

I would be remiss in my duties as a blogger if I failed to blog about road tripping to Eugene for the Utah - Oregon football game.

Left before 6am Friday morning. Idaho was boring. Got some manifolds homework done. Ate lunch at a KFC in La Grande, Oregon. They didn't have macaroni and cheese. Watched several movies in the car, played iPod DJ. X-Men Origins: Wolverine is a terrible movie unless you completely turn your brain off. Stopped at Multnomah Falls and saw some other Ute fans. Watched (and, albeit loath to admit it, enjoyed) 17 Again. Was surprised by the acting talent of Zac Efron. Arrived in Eugene at approximately IT-SUCKED-BECAUSE-IT-WAS-LATE O'CLOCK.
Awoke Saturday morning, went to breakfast at Brail's Restaurant - total greasy spoon, probably really bad for you, but really delicious. Went to the Saturday market and purchased the perfect souvenir of Eugene - a t-shirt tie-dyed with the UO logo.
FOOTBALL GAME. Autzen Stadium is loud. ~~It was raining~~ IT NEVER RAINS AT AUTZEN STADIUM. The Muss broke a bench during a third-down jump. Obtained a small piece of Autzen Stadium as a souvenir. Terrance Cain looked really, really bad, and the offensive play calling was even worse than Ludwig, if such a crazy thing is even possible. Utes lost. Bah.
Delicious dinner provided by my friend's aunt and uncle. He makes the best dang salmon I've ever had. Watched the Cougars lose. It was consoling to note that they looked EVEN WORSE THAN WE DID.
Awoke at WAY-TOO-FREAKING-EARLY-O'CLOCK Sunday morning and started driving back. Drove through half of Stardust (weird movie) and all of Enchanted, but enjoyed the audio. Thinking it'd be fun to dress up as Giselle for Halloween, just because she is so amusingly cheerful. Halfway through Oregon, ran out of food and had to shoot some deer. Someone died of dysentery and we lost three days. (Come on, you knew there'd be an Oregon Trail joke in here.) Idaho: STILL BORING but at least the speed limit is 75. Watched four episodes of Chuck and regretted not having watched it on TV from the beginning. Detoured to Ogden to drop off Swifty. Freaking Swifty. Arrived home at ten-something.

[LaTeX] \noqed

2009-09-12T17:53:00.002-06:00

So you're writing up a big multi-part proof in LaTeX, and you don't want the halmos (□) to appear at the end of one of your sub-lemmas. You were hoping you could just use the \noqed command, but unfortunately it doesn't exist. Here's what you can do instead.

In general, if you want to change what symbol happens at the end of a proof, you use \renewcommand{\qedsymbol}{ --stuff goes here-- }, and if you want there to be no qed symbol, you define it to be blank: \renewcommand{\qedsymbol}{}. But if you want qed symbols in some of your theorems but just not one or two in particular, you don't want to declare this globally. The trick I've found is to
\def\noqed{\renewcommand{\qedsymbol}{}}
and then drop in a \noqed right before the \end of the proof you don't want qed'd. This works because this \renewcommand only happens locally, inside this particular proof environment.

So there you have it: a \noqed command that works exactly like you think it should.

Rescue

2009-09-07T02:31:00.002-06:00

[Christian-based content ahead! If you're an anti-religious sort, avert your eyes lest you melt like that guy in Raiders of the Lost Ark! Just kidding.]

Today (okay, fine, yesterday, since it is 2:30) I taught a lesson in Sunday school about the Martin and Willie handcart companies. The backstory is, they left for the Salt Lake valley a little late in the season and got caught 700 miles from Salt Lake in early blizzards and bitter cold in early October. Their supplies running low, without the provisions they had expected at Fort Laramie, without adequate clothing or blankets, they needed rescue. They could go no further on their own.

A man named Franklin D. Richards and his company, outfitted with light wagons and fast horses, had passed the company in September, and upon arriving in Utah on October 4, informed Church president Brigham Young of the handcart company's plight. President Young, in the general conference of the Church that "just happened" to be scheduled for the next day, called for 60 mule teams, 12 wagons and 12 tons of flour. The next morning 16 mule teams pulled out, with 250 on the trail by the end of October. Many stories of heroism, bravery and sheer determination later, the handcart companies made it to Salt Lake.

Those reading this blog who are Mormons have certainly heard this story before, and there's a reason we retell it so often. First of all, we've all been there. Remember when you were a little kid, and you got separated from your parents at the store? Remember the fear you felt while you were lost, and the peace and safety you felt when your parents found you again? If it wasn't at the store, it was when you made a difficult decision, or were very sick, or were working harder than you thought you could, or one of a hundred other situations common to us all. Perhaps you've been on the rescuing end, and you've watched the fear clear from their eyes, and felt that warm glow inside that comes from doing something for someone that they can't do for themselves. We can learn many valuable lessons about love, preparation, sacrifice and diligence from the example of these Saints. But most importantly, it points our minds towards Jesus Christ, our Savior, Deliverer, Redeemer, and indeed, our Rescuer.

"It is because of the sacrificial redemption wrought by the Savior of the world that the great plan of the eternal gospel is made available to us, under which those who die in the Lord shall not taste of death but shall have the opportunity of going on to a celestial and eternal glory," said late Church President Gordon B. Hinckley. "In times of despair, in seasons of loneliness and fear, He is there on the horizon to bring succor and comfort and assurance and faith. He is our King, our Savior, our Deliverer, our Lord and our God."

How many of us have been through times of despair? How many of us will go through seasons of loneliness and fear? How many of us feel, or have felt, or will feel our inadequacies, our shortcomings, cutting into our confidence like the cold, cruel winds of the Wyoming plains? How many of us will at some point be stranded on the high prairie with short rations and blizzards blowing in? How many of us, in short, need to be rescued? The answer is, all of us. And this is the raison d'etre of Christ.

Jesus came into the world (among other reasons, of course) to suffer like we do. He took upon Himself not only our sins, but also our pains, our weaknesses, our faults, our flaws, our feelings of inadequacy, our sicknesses and death, so that He could know what it is like to be us - so that He could know, in that visceral way that experience alone can bring, how best to help us through the doubt, uncertainty and fear that is being human. He came to help us be better, to help us transcend our weakness. He came to bring us flour and warm blankets and fresh mule teams when we are stranded in the snow. Jesus came, in short, to rescue.

This is why I am striving to be better, why I am trying to take up Christ's offer to leave old things behind and follow Him to a better way. It's why I've decided to try to use my time more wisely (says the man who's up at three in the morning writing in his blog), to seek more balance, to pursue first the things that are real - because Jesus did all this for me, and I'll be a fool if I don't try to become who and what He is showing me I can be.

Three things

2009-09-04T00:19:00.003-06:00

1. I went to the doctor today. The good news is, I don't have testicular cancer. The bad news is, I uh... yeah.
2. Work was really rather long today, and I had to work until 8:15, even though 7:00 was the time of the start of the
3. FOOTBALL GAME. Cain looked pretty okay, if a little floaty. I'm not sure how much I liked the defense, but apparently Whit said he felt pretty good about 'em.
4. Sean Smith made this incredible one-handed interception in the end zone AND managed to get both feet in. Man, it's going to be so much fun to watch his career.
5. I enjoy adding more things than I said there were going to be.

Parking

2009-07-18T22:35:00.003-06:00

So I had to run to Albertson's a minute ago to purchase some cream and half-n-half (homemade ice cream tomorrow!). As anyone who has ever visited the Albertson's on 23rd and 39th in Salt Lake City has undoubtedly noted, the parking spaces are quite roomy, to the point of being palatial. You see, not only are the spaces themselves wide, but there are also, in lieu of the standard single yellow stripes, rather large buffer zones - six inches of asphalt enclosed by TWO yellow stripes. The practical upshot of this is that it is virtually impossible to park in such a manner as to obstruct the parking ability of another driver.

But as I'm sure you can guess, I wouldn't be writing this post if somebody hadn't managed to do exactly that.

I pulled into the parking lot and saw a pull-through spot right by the door I want to go in. (I have a thing for pull-through spots, because I hate backing up in parking lots, especially at night.) As I pulled in, I noticed that, gee, that car next to me is parked rather close, but didn't think much of it until I rolled up my windows, opened my door and attempted to get out.

With the aid of a handy ruler I found on my desk, I just ascertained that I am approximately 7" wide if I suck it in pretty hard. It took every bit of suck I could muster, as well as a contortionist routine that would do Cirque du Soleil proud, to get out of my door. Good heavens, I thought, these people really suck at parking. (My real thoughts were more colorful, and may even have included the French word for "shower", but I try to keep this blog family-friendly.)

The offending car, in case you were wondering, was a pearl-white BMW. I will refrain from observations involving the supposed ownership of any and all roadways by drivers of such vehicles, but will indulge myself so far as to say OF COURSE IT WAS A DANG BMW. (No offense to any of you who may happen to drive a BMW - if you have the good taste to be reading my blog, I'm sure you don't fail this badly at parking.)

So I went in and procured the sought-after dairy items, and returned to my car to find the owner of the BMW standing there staring at it while his wife returned their shopping cart. I walked past them (with a perfectly civil, nay, friendly greeting, I may add) and made quite a show of squeezing carefully into my car.

As I drove off, a note of bitter vindictiveness may have entered into my mind, and I may have hoped for an instant that their door was now slightly scratched or even dented, such unfortunate happening being no more than their due, but I'm sure this tacit admission can be our little secret.

Guys, this is hilarious.

2009-07-12T23:20:00.001-06:00

Alton Brown is the Chuck Norris of the culinary world - and as such, he deserves his facts. With no further ado, I present to you:

Good Eats, Amazing Feats

Shared via AddThis

Things that are good

2009-07-04T00:14:00.003-06:00

Harper Lee's classic To Kill a Mockingbird. I promise that it's been too long since you've read this book. Here's a few gem quotes:
- "Naw, Jem, I think there's just one kind of folks. Folks."
- "The one thing that doesn't abide by majority rule is a person's conscience."
- "Well, I'm gonna be a new kind of clown. I'm gonna stand in the middle of the ring and laugh at the folks."
Bob Marley. There's a good reason he'll go down as the best reggae artist ever.
Holst's "Jupiter" - especially his artful combination of two rather disparate themes.
The Killers' "Shadowplay".
Can you tell I went to the music store twice in as many days?
The OTHER birthday present I got my mom!
Being done with RAing math summer camp!
The bread pudding I'll be making tomorrow (the bread for which is sitting out on some hastily improvised and completely AWESOME staling-out racks).
Planetariums, Hoberman spheres, and Foucalt pendulums.

And just for variety, two things that is not good:

Inconsistent naming schemes in IDV3 tags for classical music.
Inconsistent labeling of artists that makes an album split into several pieces when you import it into iTunes.
Both my grammar and numbering skills.

Blogworthy

2009-06-17T22:17:00.002-06:00

Today has been rather blogworthy, I'm not gonna lie.
1) I think I understand the class equation a lot better now.
2) I went to the UMNH with the math campers today. DINOSAURS! Also, ROCKS THAT GLOW IN ULTRAVIOLET LIGHT! Also, SCORPIONS THAT DO THE SAME THING!
3) I am surrounded by people who actually laugh at my jokes. You have no idea how gratifying that is.
4) We played on the playground today and pushed swings over the rails and tried to keep our balance on those things... at the playground... with the spring... on the bottom... you know.
5) We just played BS modulo 7.

Cooking: Marinades.

2009-06-08T14:41:00.003-06:00

We all love marinades, because they add moisture and flavor to our favorite meats when we're grilling. But buying them? No way jose, that's money better spent elsewhere, if you ask me. Make your own dang marinade! It's not as hard as you think it is.

Marinades typically comprise three things: a salt or an acid (or both!), something sweet to balance it out, and then some spices and flavorings. I bet you're wondering why. Well, I'll tell you why!

1) Salt or acid. Acids denature proteins. What does that mean when it's at home? Well, proteins are naturally folded up in quite complex patterns. Acids disrupt some of the bonds that keep proteins folded. The end result of this process is a bunch of little tunnels through which flavor can seep in to your meat.

If you go the salt route, you're adding moisture to the meat because of osmosis. Because the fluid inside the cells in the meat is less salty than the fluid outside, water wants to flow out of the cells to dilute the saltiness. Wait wait, you say, I thought you said you're adding moisture, and this sounds like the moisture is flowing out. Ah, but the salt then dissolves some of the proteins in the meat's cell structure and the meat's cell fluids become more concentrated, and the osmotic pressure sucks the water back in. (Brining, a related technique, involves immersing meat in a salt-water bath, and is great for such meats as turkey and pork that tend to dry out when cooked.)

2) Something sweet. Now, the first reason is obvious - you've just put a whole lot of salt or acid on your meat, and if you don't balance it out, it's going to taste like straight-up table salt, or taking a pull from a bottle of vinegar. Yum. But there is another reason to put sugar in a marinade, and that is caramelization. That's when sugars under heat turn brown and gain complex flavors. (How much better does caramel taste than just a handful of sugar?) Putting sugar in your marinade helps to give meats (especially light-colored ones like turkey or chicken) that pretty brown crust when it's grilled.

3) Flavorings. Well, you wanted it to taste like something, didn't you?

In case you're wondering what are some good options for these three marinade components, here you go: Soy sauce is a great place to get salt (especially for marinating beef - the flavors go very well together), vinegar (in all its delicious varieties) and citrus juices are nice acids, and you can take your pick of your entire spice cabinet to flavor it (just make sure everything plays well together).

I'll give you a sample of a marinade I just made. I wish I could give you a better idea of amounts, but I didn't really measure anything.
Soy sauce (Salt)
Rice wine vinegar (Acid)
Honey (Sugar)
Orange juice (I squeezed some fresh and also used some orange-tangerine blend.)
Orange zest (about half an orange worth)
Fresh ginger, grated fine
Sesame oil (careful - a little goes a long way! Available at Asian markets and most grocery stores.)
My preferred method for making marinades is to put everything together in one-a-them glass canning jars, because then you can just put a lid on and shake it. Start off with a goodly amount of soy sauce and a goodly amount of vinegar - probably at least half of your regular-size canning jar - because this is the base of your marinade. Then add the other stuff until it smells and tastes right. I went with orange zest because the citrus flavor was getting buried, but I didn't want to wash everything out with too much juice. Orange zest is powerfully orangey, so it worked well.

My favorite way to actually marinate the meat is to stick it in a ziploc bag, pour enough marinade in to cover it (less than you think, because of the next step!) and then squeeze the excess air out. The marinade makes good contact with the meat and it's easy to turn it around for even coverage.

A note on marinating time. If you're marinating pork or beef, you can leave it in there pretty much all day, but if you're marinating chicken or fish, you only need 30 minutes - one hour TOPS! This is because chicken and fish aren't as dense (so they need less time to soak up flavor) and the surface will actually start to be chemically cooked by the acid in the marinade, and the meat will be dry. Go try some ceviche if you don't believe me.

Once you're done marinating, cook and enjoy! See, that wasn't so bad.

ps - I marinated a tri-tip in this, then gave it a post-cook soak in the marinade in a little tinfoil canoe.

Cooking: Raspberry Bread Pudding

2009-06-01T18:24:00.001-06:00

This is a pretty fakey recipe but I think you can make it work.

Things you'll need:
Bread (something good and thick, that can soak up a lot of custard)
Half-and-half or cream or milk
Eggs (probably a half dozen by the time you're all done)
Raspberries and some raspberry puree
Sugar
Vanilla extract

First, you get a bowl, and tear up some bread until it fills the bowl. Old bread is probably good here, and you probably don't want to use a sliced loaf because it'll be too thin. I used some old French-ish rolls we had sitting around. Dump the bread in a pan, turn your oven on as low as it goes, and put the bread in there for a few minutes to stale it out (unless, of course, you want to wait 24 hours or so for it to get stale naturally). This works surprisingly well.

Now, take the bowl you ripped the bread into, fill it about half full of half-and-half (or cream, or whatever - we didn't quite have enough half-and-half, so I put some regular milk in it too). Add one or two eggs (depending on how big your bowl is) and some sugar (enough to make it sweet) and a good slosh of vanilla, then whisk it until the eggs are completely blended. Then dump the bread in to soak. Stir it around every few minutes until the bread has absorbed as much custard as it can possibly hold.

So we were making raspberry jam, and I had some leftover raspberry puree with the seeds strained out. Put some of that, about half as much sugar, and enough lemon juice to make it tart in a pan and cook it down until it's syrupy.

Once the bread has absorbed as much custard as it can, dump 3/4 of it in a lightly greased baking pan (size depending again on how much bread you used - I used a 9"x9", I think), then cover it with the raspberry sauce and put some frozen raspberries in there (I don't see why you couldn't use fresh, except maybe they would bake funny), then put the rest of the bread-custard mix on top. Bake at 350-375°F for about 40 minutes or until a knife stuck in the middle comes out clean.

While it's baking, make some creme anglaise (this recipe came out a little bit eggy for me - maybe because I didn't have cream - but you might consider going down to 3 yolks) and put it in the refrigerator to cool. (Actually, it would probably be a good idea to make before-hand so it's actually cold.)

Serve the pudding warm with the cold sauce on it, garnish with fresh raspberries. Yum.

Teaching: Calculators and technology

2009-05-28T14:21:00.003-06:00

So someday I want to be a teacher, and so I find myself thinking about teachery things every once in a while. I've decided to record some of these on this here blogomathing.

I had an interesting philosophical discussion with a student in the tutoring center about the use of calculators in math classes - or, specifically, to what extent calculators should be allowed. On the one hand, calculators are fantastic for helping you grind through tedious calculations that sometimes get in the way of actual learning. On the other hand, I was just tutoring a girl who said, and I quote, "I took calc 2 back in high school, but we always did it with our calculators, so I don't remember how to do it" - so sometimes calculators can become a crutch and prevent the student from learning.

So the stage is set - you find yourself on a battleground with the champions of the calculator trumpeting their technological battle-cry on the one side, and the partisans of pencil-and-paper standing defiant on the other. I think that the best solution is, as is often the case, to be found somewhere in the middle, and my views will be explained through the rest of this post.

First of all, I believe in quantitative literacy, and by this I mean that I think people should have a good idea of numbers and sizes and should be able to do mental "ballpark calculations" to get a rough idea of an answer. (This is a skill that will serve you well throughout your life. If oranges are $1.29 a pound, you should be able to figure out whether or not buying a 4-lb bag for $4.79 is a good deal.) I also believe, especially in a math-class setting, in algebraic literacy - you should know about factoring numbers and canceling top and bottom and when you can split up a fraction. These are basic skills that should be a common denominator, if you'll pardon the pun, for all math classes, and I think that this is where calculators turn into a crutch. If you're taking a math class, you should be able to multiply, subtract, divide, etc. by hand - BUT I don't think you should be compelled to. If a class does not allow calculators on tests (and more on that later), then the teacher should be willing to accept unsimplified answers, or at least be appropriately lenient on simple calculational mistakes (especially when that's not what the class is about). It's a calculus class, after all, not an algebra class, and the student should be graded on how well they do calculus, not algebra.

On the subject of calculators on tests, the student I was talking to yesterday had a really great idea. He said, why doesn't the math department get together and come up with a standard calculator that can be used on all the tests (a TI-83, say), then buy 150 of them, nuke the memory, and keep them in the department office? It'd be really hard to tamper with them, but you'd still be able to do all the basic things. And if you wanted more control, I'm sure you could get your friends in the computer science department to write you some new firmware so you could lock out, say, the graphing capabilities on demand. I really like this idea, and I think it solves the problem of calculators on tests once and for all.

Now, with modern calculators and computer algebra systems and so forth, we find ourselves in an interesting quandary. Things that were computationally intractable ten years ago (indefinite integrals, Taylor expansions, etc.) are now easy to do on your plain vanilla TI-89. This lets lazy students type things into their calculators and get answers without knowing the math behind it. The underlying phenomenon is nothing new, and we even have a word for it. It's called cheating, and this kind of thing is easily detectable (if you bother to look at their paper for 3.7 seconds) and doesn't really worry me. What worries me is that these "middle-ground" students are the ones who would probably learn the subject if pushed to do it, but they are instead letting the calculator do it for them.

Instead of dwelling on why calculators can be bad, let's talk about appropriate uses of technology. I think the most powerful thing about technology is the opportunity it gives students to explore. I've learned a heck of a lot about math by dinking around with a calculator. The beauty here is that again, calculators take care of tedious calculations for you, and allow you to see the Big Picture without a ton of needless effort (you ever try to plot a slope field by hand? Yeah, have fun with that). When you play around with a grapher, you can quickly develop your visual intuition for the rough shape of common functions, how polar coordinates work, and get a good handle on parametric equations. It's also super cool to graph a function along with its first five or so Taylor polynomials - you can immediately see how it converges, and what exactly that radius of convergence means.

For these reasons listed above, I find myself right in the middle of the road when it comes to technology in math classes. I think both of the extrema, whether it be the "CALCULATORS ARE EVIL" school or the "USE CALCULATORS FOR EVERYTHING" school, are rather dogmatic - and rather silly.

Mmmmcake

2009-05-12T18:58:00.002-06:00

The chocolate chipotle cakes turned out friggin' amazing, but I would recommend eating them with vanilla ice cream or frozen yogurt instead of one of the sauces listed. But do whatever floats your boat.

Crowning Moments of Awesome

2009-04-26T23:54:00.002-06:00

This is the first in what may become a series of posts on moments in history that are completely, undeniably, and irrevocably awesome.

The British Double Cross System during World War II, by which MI5 controlled, as was confirmed after the war, all of the spies sent to the U.K. by Germany, with the possible exception of one who committed suicide. The spies were allowed to report such details as insignia on uniforms and markings on vehicles, which, of course, was so accurate that several of them were awarded the Iron Cross - while working for the British.
The concept of earthquake bombs - conventional bombs that were designed to be extremely heavy, with a sharp nose, so they would penetrate the ground and thus do more damage - was developed by the British engineer Barnes Wallis. One of these bombs was used shortly after D-Day to prevent German reinforcements from moving by train. Instead of bombing the train tracks, which would be quickly and easily repaired, the RAF dropped a Tallboy on a mountain through which there was a railroad tunnel. The bomb drilled itself through the mountain into the tunnel and brought the whole dang tunnel down. The entire rail line was unusable through the rest of the war.

This ends this installment of Crowning Moments of Awesome. I hope you enjoyed this offshoot of my sudden interest in World War II history. :)

Help me choose my cellphone ringer!

2009-04-17T22:42:00.001-06:00

So for the last few months, my cellphone ringer has been a snippet from Weezer's Buddy Holly, but I'm starting to get a little tired of it - it's time for a change. I've got a few ideas, and I want to know what you think. (The following are in alphabetical order because I am going through my iTunes library here.)

1. Something by Beck. Maybe the Speak'n'Spell bit from No Complaints? Or E-Pro?
2. The Bravery - Bad Sun (I'd have the whistling lick from the chorus.)
3. Something by Cake. I'm thinking Commissioning a Symphony in C.
4. Coldplay - Viva la Vida
5. Donavon Frankenreiter - Life, Love and Laughter. (If you don't know who this is, you should look him up.)
6. Jack Johnson? Maybe Hope, or Monsoon, or Bubble Toes, or If I Had Eyes?
7. Led Zeppelin - Black Dog
8. Moby - We Are All Made of Stars
9. Modest Mouse - Float On
10. A little Paolo Nutini?
11. The Republic Tigers - Buildings and Mountains (Another kinda obscure band you should look up.)
12. Snow Patrol?
13. U2. Lots of choices: Elevation, Love and Peace or Else, Where the Streets Have No Name, Pride...
14. The Who - Who Are You. I think this would be apropos. :)

Endorse your favorite or suggest something else!

Things

2009-04-14T22:50:00.003-06:00

I am feeling kind of guilty today, because I didn't go in to work because I felt kinda sick (and still do, tyvm). I hate shirking responsibilities. I also felt completely unmotivated to finish my homework properly, and couldn't figure out several of the problems. I also hate failure. (This, btw, is why I am wary of commitment - it's not the commitment that I'm afraid of, it's the failure that happens if I don't or can't follow through.)

In happier news, the new MoTab CD is amazing, and I got two free songs from iTunes, both of which are pretty decent.

Blah.

Recipe

2009-04-12T23:26:00.002-06:00

I friggin' will make this someday.

Boca Negra Chocolate Chipotle Cakes

1 1/2 sticks (3/4 cup) unsalted butter, cut into small pieces, plus additional for greasing ramekins
1 cup sugar plus additional for dusting
6 medium dried chipotle chiles (1 ounce)
6 tablespoons fresh orange juice
10 oz Valrhona semisweet chocolate (56%) or fine-quality bittersweet chocolate, finely chopped
4 large eggs
4 teaspoons all-purpose flour
1/8 teaspoon salt

Special equipment: 8 (4-oz) ramekins

Preparation:
Put oven rack in middle position and preheat oven to 325°F. Butter ramekins and dust with sugar, knocking out excess.

Toast chiles in a dry heavy skillet over moderate heat, turning, until fragrant, 1 to 2 minutes. Discard stems, seeds, and ribs, then soak chiles in hot water to cover until softened, about 30 minutes. Drain, reserving soaking liquid. Purée chiles in a mini food processor or a blender, adding 2 to 3 tablespoons soaking liquid as needed to form a paste. Force paste through a fine-mesh sieve into a bowl and discard solids. Set aside 1 1/2 tablespoons chile paste and freeze remainder for another use.

Bring juice and 1 cup sugar to a boil in a 1- to 1 1/2-quart saucepan, stirring until sugar is dissolved. Pour hot syrup over chocolate in a large bowl, stirring until chocolate is melted. Add butter and stir until melted.

Add eggs 1 at a time, whisking after each addition, then stir in chile paste, flour, and salt. Divide among ramekins and bake in hot water bath , uncovered, until just firm and top is starting to crust, 50 to 60 minutes. Transfer ramekins with tongs to a work surface and let stand 2 minutes.

Unmold warm cakes directly onto dessert plates (they will be difficult to move once they adhere).

And then you put this stuff on top.

Ten things that are pretty cool

2009-04-07T22:41:00.005-06:00

Me. (Just thought I'd get that one out of the way right off the bat.)
Last night, I decided that inasmuch as I was getting a paycheck today, I would purchase a CD that's been going through my head lately. It's a guy named Paolo Nutini, or to Cara, "Italian Guy". It is good musics. Pretty laid-back, acoustic, but with enough rock and pop influences to keep things interesting. I recommend it, especially if you can pick it up for cheap.
The story of how I actually got it last night is also pretty cool. I went to the FYE on 7th and 21st (because I thought about it after I had already driven past Graywhale, which is my preferred CD buying location). I'm all about buying used CD's, because I think it helps the CD's feel good about life again, after being abandoned by their previous owners. Plus it's cheap, and I'm cheap. So I checked the used racks, couldn't find it. So I checked the new racks, couldn't find it. Dang! I went up to the counter to ask the lady if all their stock was out, but found myself poking through the alluring 40% Off box right by the checkout line. Lo and behold, the very CD I had wished to purchase! So I ended up getting it for like $10. Sweet.
Rubio's fish tacos.
TurboTax online free federal e-filing. Easy, user-friendly, fast and accurate.
My anticipated $220 tax return.
Having lunch at Red Robin with my sisters and some cousins.
Holy cow, the weather today!
Getting paid to work on your homework. (I watched the desk at the department office for an hour today during a staff meeting. One of my classmates dropped by to give someone something, and we ended up solving one of the problems. Nice.)
Ice.
I had sushi for dinner tonight.
Getting two extra things that are pretty cool for free!

Service

2009-04-06T22:55:00.006-06:00

God does notice us, and he watches over us. But it is usually through another person that he meets our needs. Therefore, it is vital that we serve each other....
-President Spencer W. Kimball

I'm not going to blame you if you TL;DR this one. But that's why I put the most important quote up there at the top. :)

So I've recently decided that I'm going to go to the temple more often, and planned to schedule it in on either Thursday or Friday night, depending on homework alignment. However, last night I decided that I would go to the temple this morning. My first class doesn't start until 10:45, so I figured I'd have plenty of time to catch the 8:00 session in the temple and get out in time for school.

I drove down the ramp into the conference center parking garage and briefly debated with myself about what elevator to park next to. The one is a shorter walk to the temple, but nobody was parked near the other one, so I decided to park there.

Enter the Jamesons. As I was walking towards the elevators, a lady hailed me. "Sir?" (Btw, if you're a stranger wanting to get on my good side, this is a good way to do it. Hence why I say "sir" and "ma'am" a lot.) "Can you show us how to get up to the temple?" I turned towards the speaker and found a middle-aged couple who looked rather lost, and told them I'd be happy to help. "Oh, thank you so much. We're from Texas, and we're chronically lost."

As I helped them navigate through the elevators and doors and crosswalks and going in the right door of the temple, we got to know each other. They were from Austin, in town for conference and to see their son who lives in Provo. They are converts of about 40 years, and today was their 39-year sealing anniversary. They were pretty much the sweetest people you've ever met.

Being from Texas, which is a good 4500 feet lower than Utah, they had some amount of altitude sickness, so we took it kinda slow getting over to the temple. As 8:00 drew nearer, I found myself thinking, even if I do miss this session, I won't even mind, because these people are SO COOL.

We made it to the temple, got changed, and squeaked into the session by the skin of our teeth. During the session, I found myself thinking about how God works small miracles by small means (like giving you the idea to go to the temple Monday instead of Thursday as previously planned, putting a little extra traffic on 600 South, throwing in a red light here and there, inspiring just a little hesitation about what elevator to park by), and how incredibly good He is at this game. I also found myself thinking how grateful I was for all the talks about the temple in general conference, because it was everything all the speakers promised, just like it always is.

Afterwards, I showed the Jamesons back to where they were parked (good luck finding your car again the first time you park under the conference center!). As we shook hands goodbye, Sister Jameson said, "You should come to Austin and stay with us." I said, "I'd love to!" - and meant it.

Comical misreadings, gas leaks, honey and mushrooms

2009-03-24T22:06:00.003-06:00

So it's been forever since I updated this thing, and today was amusing, so off we go.

I was just checking my gmail, and the little link they give you up at the top was from "NYT Travel" with the headline "Hotel Spas Try to Lure Locals". Of course I misread it as "Hotel Spas Try to Lure Lolcats".
Today I and thousands of other students, faculty and staff were evacuated from the University of Utah campus after crews installing an underground fiber-optic line nailed a gas line with their drill. Oops! The guy whodunit said that Blue Stakes, the local utility line locating company, had cleared the area that morning. Gj Blue Stakes! Apparently they nailed the line so hard that grass was waving and the asphalt was bubbling. You could smell gas as far over as the business loop, a good thousand feet away.
I just watched an unduly fascinating episode of Good Eats with Alton Brown. It is quite possibly one of the coolest shows on television, because Alton Brown picks a particular food item and tells you everything you could ever possibly want to know about it - chemistry, history, recipes that use it, etc. etc. Tonight's episode was on honey. I knew a little bit about honey's antiseptic and preservative properties, but it turns out that it's way cooler than that - it's strongly hygroscopic, which means it will actually suck water out of the air to help keep foods made with it moist. Alton made a delicious-looking honey mustard thing that could be used as a salad dressing OR a dip for chicken fingers or whatever OR anything else your imaginative mind can think of. Cool. Then I got wikipediaing about honey and bees and stuff and found out that, holy cow, bees are AWESOME. Not only do they make honey, but they do a waggle dance to indicate to other bees how far away and in what direction a particular field of flowers is, they can kill wasps by balling up around them until they die of overheating, and that archaeologists have found sealed pots of perfectly good (if a little crystallized) honey in Greek shipwrecks and Pharaohs' tombs. How cool is that?
Speaking of random wikipediaing, I learned a lot about mushrooms today. Did you know that there are a ton of edible mushrooms, a ton of inedible mushrooms, and a ton of quite poisonous mushrooms, some of which look rather a lot like certain delicious mushrooms? Did you know that Holy Roman Emperor Charles VI died as a result of eating poisonous mushrooms, and that his death led to the War of Austrian Succession? Voltaire commented, "This dish of mushrooms changed the destiny of Europe." I bet you'll never look at a mushroom the same. Also, I want to kick this.

Sucks

2009-03-01T22:17:00.002-07:00

Do you know what sucks?

I'll tell you what sucks.

In fact, that's the point of this post, as evidenced by its title.

Now, many things suck, but there's only one thing that I'm kind of on my soapblog about today, and that's the relative unavailability of good classical music.

I know what you're saying. You're saying, "Spencer, what are you talking about? There's a whole radio station full of it right here in the good old SLC." And I don't disagree with you - in fact, you've made my point for me, and I thank you, except it's really me putting words in your mouth, and you've not, in fact, said anything (unless you happen to make random catty remarks aloud while reading other people's blogs, in which case you have more serious problems than a relative unavailability of good classical music - but I digress). My point is that there is ONE classical radio station and like A GRAJILLION other radio stations.

Don't get me wrong, I don't dislike the music that these grajillion other radio stations are playing, it's just like, what do you do when you want to hear some classical music? Well, you switch to Classical 89, of course, but what if it's playing something you don't like so much? Like, there's some sort of Bach playing, and you're just not in a very baroque mood today. It's understandable and it happens to all of us. Nobody is in a baroque mood all the time.

So then what do you do? If you've thought ahead, you have a couple of CD's full of classical music you enjoy, and you throw one of those in. Good thinking! But wait - where did you get those CD's in the first place? I challenge you to think of an even slightly obscure composer or piece and walk into your local music store and find a recording of it. Chances are you won't. For instance, good luck finding, say, some of Grieg's lesser-known works, or pretty much anything by Sibelius. And Gershwin? Unless you're looking for Rhapsody in Blue or Porgy & Bess, you're probably out of luck. Which is totally not the case if you're looking for the High School Musical 3 soundtrack, or the latest release from U2.

So thus I appeal to you, my faithful readers - where can you find good classical music for purchase? I'd prefer something local, because supporting local businesses is what all the cool kids are doing these days, and if there's a guy who's making a living selling classical music out of some hole in the wall downtown, I want to hear about it, because I am going to go drop like $40 in this guy's store.

_{_{ps - post number 100 on tophatrabbit! I know, can you believe it?}}

Holy crap.

2009-02-22T17:00:00.002-07:00

Heh, that subject line is actually really funny, and I think you're about to see why.

I'm seriously considering doing my master's/Ph.D. at BYU.

Inorite? It sounds crazy, but I think it might be a good idea. I think I could deal with Happy Valley and its annoyingly wholesome nature, I think I could deal with the Honor Code and its prohibition of facial hair, I think I could even deal with the idea of going to The School Down South, because there'd be the blessing of being surrounded by Latter-day Saints and not having to deal (_as_much) with the problems of the world.

The one thing I'm really concerned about is, is this a good career move? The U is quite a prestigious math school, and even though I'll probably have to leave it eventually, I don't know if BYU has the same rep as like an Ohio State or a Nebraska or an Illinois.

Anyway, I dunno, just sort of my stream of consciousness from today.

Copious free time

2009-02-14T00:56:00.001-07:00

I think I'm becoming bored with video games. I don't know what it is. I never really thought this would happen, but I'm toying with the idea of like, not playing video games for an extended period of time. And so I'm looking at my schedule, and all this strange excess free time I would suddenly have, and wondering, what do normal people do with all that free time? I don't think I'm grown up enough to just sit down and study yet, but I don't really know what else to do with it. Take up knitting? Get some clay and throw pots? Become an avid bird watcher? Cultivate *gasp* SOCIAL SKILLS, and use them on *double gasp* MARRIAGEABLE FEMALES?!!

Seriously guys, you've gotta help me.

^{^{for some reason, the word "marriageable" really strikes my funny bone.}}

Wayfaring Stranger

2009-02-08T23:02:00.001-07:00

I know dark clouds will gather 'round me
I know my way is rough and steep;
But beauteous fields lie just beyond me
Where souls redeemed their vigil keep.

I want to wear a crown of glory
When I get home to that bright land
I want to shout Salvation's story
In concert with that bloodwashed band.

I'm going there to meet my Saviour
To sing His praise forevermore.
I'm only going over Jordan
I'm only going over home.

Shampoo

2009-02-07T21:45:00.002-07:00

One time on my mission, my companion bought this, like, berry smoothie flavored shampoo. On a dare (because when four college-age guys live in the same apartment, you do stupid things on dares), I tasted some of it.

Of course it tasted horrible and soapy. But the fact that over the horrible soapiness, you could just taste a hint of delicious berry blend, only served to heighten my disappointment.

For everything else...

2009-02-03T23:41:00.001-07:00

New chain: $20
Avenir chain tool: $9
A couple of extra powerlinks (just in case one gets broken): $6
Installing your own bike chain: Priceless.

Digging

2009-02-01T23:27:00.001-07:00

Apparently, if I dug a hole straight through the center of the earth, I would end up about halfway between Madagascar and the French Southern and Antarctic Islands.

How can I explain...

2009-01-31T21:19:00.002-07:00

Warning: This post contains potentially toxic levels of bike jargon.

So today I decided to do some bike maintenance. First on the list was installing my new taillight. It turns out that my seat post is somewhat larger in diameter than most seat posts, so I have a hard time with clamps that are manufactured for the standard width. Fortunately, they had also included a clamp that attaches to your seat stay (the piece that makes the top side of the back triangle of the bike frame).

Next order of business was fiddling with the front derailleur. It had been rubbing excessively in second and 7 and 8, which kinda annoyed me, and it was sluggish shifting into third. I figured that either I'd have to adjust the high limit screw or tighten the cable. Upon inspection, it turned out that the high limit screw was just about as far out as it gets, so I had to adjust the cable. This is somewhat difficult. The derailleur has a very strong spring that pulls it in, so you have to wedge it out until you get the cable tight. I ended up enlisting the help of my dad for this step, because I didn't get it tightened enough the first time by myself. Now it's a lot better - it only rubs a little in second and eight, and is much less sluggish on the upshift.

My back wheel has been making a sound like the brakes have been dragging, so I decided to make sure it was trued. It was a little out of true, but not badly, and it continued to squeal a little even after I trued it. I imagine the brake pads might be a little toed in or something.

This brings us to the chain. I've been having problems with it skipping every once in a while. I thought it might be a stuck link, so I cranked it backwards, watching for the jockey wheels to jump. It wasn't that, so I decided to clean it a little and see if that would solve the problem. Now, even though my chain has a SRAM master link, which is supposedly easy to open by hand, I couldn't get the dang thing open. I again ended up enlisting the help of my dad, who (unsurprisingly, if you know him) promptly managed to break it. Oh well, you can buy a new master link for a lot cheaper than a whole new chain, so I decided to throw it in some solvent anyway and get it clean.

The cool way to do this is to put the chain in a water bottle, add enough solvent to cover the chain, and shake it all up. This way, the solvent can get in all the nooks and crannies and really get the sludge out. I shook it around, fished it out with a piece of bent wire, and discovered that under the gunk, it was actually rather rusty. Nice.

Flash back to about three, four months ago when I had my bike in for some repairs. My chainrings were pretty worn and my cassette was shot, so I asked them to replace my chain too. It had sat outside with snow on it for about six weeks the previous Christmas, and had gotten a little rusty. They called me back a couple of days later and informed me that they would have to make the more expensive of the repair options we had discussed, but told me that my chain was still good after a good clean'n'lube. I was dubious, but let it slide, because it would save me twenty bucks.

So anyway, yeah, it was pretty dang rusty. And once I held it up straight, I noticed that one of the links was actually twisted, close to an eighth of a turn. No wonder it's been skipping.

I guess my bike has been listening to a little too much Erasure.

The snowblower

2009-01-26T21:03:00.003-07:00

I woke up this morning, stretched luxuriantly, and said to myself, "Ahh, it snowed! Nothing like a morning wrestle with the snowblower to get the blood flowing."

Okay, so that's not how it actually happened.

This morning, my alarm went off, I hit the snooze button, and Mom said I was going to have to run the snowblower before I go. "It's a good thing," I thought to myself, "that I took a bath last night so I don't have to shower this morning."

So I throw my jeans, gloves and boots on and call my dad to figure out just how to get the snowblower running. I follow his precise directions for the careful and proper setting of the many levers and switches (you have to open up the throttle halfway, turn the choke on, pump the primer three or four times, repeat the words "O Yard Machines, swiftly throw my snow" three times, and sprinkle the blood of a young goat on its carburetor) and start yanking on the starter handle. Approximately three pulling-induced aneurysms later, I break down and plug in the electric starter. After five, ten seconds of noise comparable to a trash compactor eating a Hide-a-Bed, the engine roars into life and starts sputtering its greasy carbon footprint out into the formerly pure, unsullied air. I cranked the throttle up and turned the choke off, whereupon it promptly died. Turns out you have to turn the choke off first, and then throttle up. Some more of the goat's blood is, if optional at this point, handy.

This brings me to the next peculiarity of our snowblower. Snowblowers have a little handle on a rod that goes down to a little corkscrew that meshes with slots in the discharge chute, so as you crank on the handle, the chute turns. It's rather ingenious and works wonderfully - until my dad gets a hold of it and somehow bends the rod out a good inch and a half. So if you want the corkscrew to properly mesh with the notches in the discharge chute, you have to bend clear over the machine and hold to the rod with your right hand (heh) while cranking the handle with your left. This I cannot blame on the snowblower itself. Really it's my dad. Really.

It is while I am in the process of cranking the chute around that the sleeve of my brand-new, just-got-it-for-Christmas, $200 parka brushes up against the extremely hot exhaust manifold, and in a split second, before I even notice, there's a three-inch hole melted in it. Freakin' heck. Apparently, I didn't use enough goat's blood to properly appease it.

To sum: Next time, I'm using a shovel. Really I don't mean it, snow blower. Really. I still love you. (mostly)

Pictures

2009-01-24T01:01:00.009-07:00

So I decided to post these pictures. They have been languishing in the depths of my cellphone, disconsolately waiting for me to a) get a microSD card and b) actually bother to use it.

This is a penguin I made from clay found in Jordanelle reservoir. I think it actually turned out pretty good, and I wanted to take it home and fire it, but I didn't think that Cara would really let me get away with taking mud in her car.

The people at the Logan temple definitely have a sense of humor.

Commutative diagrams ftw. This is more or less the proof of the snake lemma, as drawn by Prof. Roberts.

Joe Brinton made me a smiley pancake. It was as delicious as it was friendly.

In unrelated news, microSD cards are really, really small.

Preppy

2009-01-24T00:21:00.003-07:00

So I think I might be turning into a preppie. Today I wore a white shirt, tie, sweater and jeans to school. (In my defense, we were planning on going to the temple this evening, but it didn't end up happening.) It is now half-past midnight and I am still wearing the tie (as well as all the other clothes, tyvm).

Oops.

2009-01-23T16:51:00.002-07:00

Spending time writing up a homework set is all well and good - just make sure you don't leave it at home when you go to school the next day. I'm just throwin' that out there.

(fortunately, I did have the long, grindy, two-page induction proof safely in my folder, and the rest only took another two pages to write back up.)

Work. Bleh.

2009-01-21T18:17:00.004-07:00

Hi Spencer,

Here's your tutoring center for the semester:

Monday 4:00 - 8:00pm
Tuesday 2:00 - 8:00
Wednesday 5:00 - 8:00
Thursday 11:00 - 4:00
Friday 8:30 - 10:30am

Thanks!
Angie [my boss]

Yeah, this semester is gonna be fun.

Trip Planner Fail

2009-01-20T21:39:00.002-07:00

Because I was feeling masochistic, and was unfortunately forgetful of my last experience, I decided to engage in the self-abuse that is using the UTA Trip Planner.

So tomorrow I need to get to the university before my 10:45 class. Thus, I plug in my home address as a starting point, the U as an ending point, and tomorrow at 10:45 as my arrival time. Reasonable enough, right? Wrong.

The aforementioned masterpiece of modern computing returns five trip itineraries, three of which arrive at the U after 10:45. And I'm not talking, like, 10:47 - Itinerary 1 arrives at 11:02, Itinerary 3 at 10:53, and 4 at 10:51. Even the best of the planned itineraries, #2, arrives at the university at 10:41, which would more than likely still end up making me late for class. Good job, Trip Planner!

Remarkably, we have not yet plumbed the depths of the failure that is the Trip Planner. Itinerary #5 arrives at 10:21 - after transferring off a bus that would arrive on campus at 10:01, only to transfer to a third bus while we're at it. Going through two transfers to arrive 20 minutes later than I would have had I stayed on the original bus? I don't see why not!

Entirely abandoning computerized stupidity, I resort to a manual examination of two of my most frequently-used bus routes. Within mere minutes, I find a direct route that arrives at 10:21. There. Was that so hard, Trip Planner?

Opinion: President Bush and Iraq

2009-01-15T15:01:00.004-07:00

I have all these opinions on current political and economic circumstances rattling around in my brain, and I finally realized that I can put them on my blog. How novel!

Today's installment, spurred by the recent craze of reviewing President Bush's time in office, is about his handling of the war in Iraq. Call me a Republican apologist, but I've really got Bush's back on this one, for several reasons:
1) It is certainly the case that we didn't find any WMDs in Iraq. Many have thus criticized President Bush's motives for going in. I don't think this should be laid on his doormat - he acted the best he knew how according to the intelligence he had. The real failure here is not from President Bush, but rather from his intelligence corps.
2) If nothing else ever comes out of the Iraq war, at least three body bags did. Okay, so plenty more came out as well, but I'm interested in three in particular: those containing Saddam, Uday and Qusay Hussein. Whether or not Saddam had WMDs is, in my mind, irrelevant: he was a madman with scientists and was an imminent threat. His sons were twice as crazy - Uday, in his role as head of the Iraqi Olympic committee, tortured athletes who failed to win, plotted assassinations of those who opposed them, had an Iron Maiden, and committed heaven only knows how many atrocities of rape, torture and murder. Qusay, it is claimed, masterminded the destruction of 3,200 square miles of marshland, supervised the execution by shredder of inmates in overcrowded prisons, and even masterminded an assassination attempt of his own brother. Can there be any doubt that Uday or Qusay would be extremely dangerous to the entire free world, let alone America, as the leader of Iraq?

So, to sum, let's give Bush credit where credit is due, for stepping in and ending a major threat to the future security of America.

Things that are well-designed, pt. 1

2009-01-09T20:21:00.002-07:00

I really enjoy using things that are well-designed, so I've decided to create a new series of posts about my experiences using them. Today: those citrus peeler things.

You know the ones I'm talking about - they look kinda like a small-headed toothbrush sans bristles and with a curvy end. The head end has a little stabby thing that stabs in through the peel and then cuts it - without damaging the fruit! The curvy end perfectly mimics the example of the action of the thumb as it carefully removes the rind from the fruit. If the citrus you're eating is hard to peel apart into segments, you can poke the curvy end down in there and winkle the segments apart. And finally, if you're eating something like grapefruit, where you don't want to eat the bitter membranes, you can even use the curvy end to cut holes in and pull the membrane off the fruit!

A quick google reveals several blog posts and other pages dedicated to other uses for the citrus peeler, such as spreading grout, removing staples, pushing back cuticles, and opening CD's. Genius!

And all this from probably like 5¢ worth of plastic, which you can buy at the grocery store two for a dollar. That, my friends, is well-designed.

WINNARS

2009-01-02T22:51:00.003-07:00

Dear national sports press:
Utah 31, Alabama 17. And don't play the "Andre Smith wasn't there" card, because he's not going to stop EIGHT SACKS, or 21 unanswered points of Utah offense in the first quarter. All right, let's hear the backpedaling.

RESPECT.

Music!

2009-01-01T16:16:00.002-07:00

I went out and bought five (!) new (to me) CD's today. I was only planning on getting MAYBE two, but there ended up being a buy-three-get-one-free deal at FYE, so.

The 5 Browns - Browns in Blue (Amazing.)
The Bravery - The Sun and the Moon (I'm starting to really dig The Bravery.)
All-American Rejects - Move Along (I've been meaning to buy this for YEARS.)
Beck - Information (It came with a DVD with all the music videos AND a sheet of stickers!)
Beck - Guero (I've owned this before, but my copy disappeared, and since it was free...)

You know you're a geek when...

2008-12-29T16:47:00.002-07:00

So I went up to the U today, for no other reason than to check some books about algebraic geometry out of the math library. I ended up with four, and I realized as I was driving home that I was totally excited to read them.

^{^{I also picked up my Muss t-shirt, so I'm not a total geek.}}

The cat does sleep a long time.

2008-12-24T23:22:00.002-07:00

To brighten up your Christmas Eve, I bring you Mr. Krueger's Christmas!

^{^{something in my eye. *snf*}}

It's a Christmas miracle!

2008-12-17T20:02:00.000-07:00

MATH 6310 001 A

\o/

Finals

2008-12-15T22:32:00.003-07:00

Analysis takehome final: 4/6 - the last two are buggers. Due Wednesday at noon.
Algebra practice prelim (ungraded): While I didn't do as well as I'd hoped, the mistakes I made were ones I'm sure I could have rectified given enough time, so it was a confidence booster in my algebraic abilities. \o/
Complex variables final: Thursday.
Topology final: Friday.

Grading activities:
Math 1050 departmental final: Tomorrow starting at 8.
Calculus final: Picking it up tomorrow at 3.

And now you know why my Facebook status says "Spencer is finals week."

Also, my dad had eye surgery today. Eventually I'll get off my dead butt and post pictures, because he looks really funny. :)

Mitt hjerte alltid vanker

2008-12-07T17:13:00.001-07:00

The following are the lyrics to Mitt hjerte alltid vanker, a Norwegian Christmas song, here translated into English.

My heart doth always wander
To Jesus' manger bed.
His lowly birth I ponder;
To Him my thoughts are led.
My yearning finds assurance,
And faith renews so bright,
When I recall with reverence
That blessed Christmas night.

Ah come, dear Lord, be with me,
And in my heart reside.
Sweet comfort Thou shalt give me;
Come, Jesus, here abide.
To my heart be no stranger -
Thy home it e'er shall be.
And as within the manger
My love shall cradle Thee.

Thy holy crib I'll honor
And round it palm leaves lay.
To Thee alone, dear Savior,
I give my life each day.
Come, grant me heav'nly pleasure
And true delight impart.
For Thou art my soul's treasure,
Born deep within my heart.

Grading

2008-12-02T22:45:00.002-07:00

Yep, that's pretty much accurate.

If you were grading an English paper written by a junior in college, and they spelled clock "klox", would you be dismayed?

The nature of God

2008-11-17T23:59:00.003-07:00

I ran across a post today on a web forum I frequent. In it, the poster expressed his view that God created us, got bored, and moved on to more interesting things. I couldn't disagree more.

The God that I know is a God of miracles. Yes, even today. He is a God who answers prayers, who knows and loves each one of us individually and by name.

The God I know is the Creator, Preserver and Upholder of the universe, yet cares enough about my infinitesimal concerns to speak to me personally through His Holy Spirit, and I claim that this grand, sublime experience is available to all who will in faith call upon Him.

The God that I know is my heavenly Father, the epitome of fatherhood. Imagine the best possible Father ever - do you think such a Father would abandon His children? I don't, and I assert that He hasn't, and never will.

The God I know provides wise, loving guidance through my trials, if I only ask for it.

The God I know gives us wise commandments, not as fences or restrictions, but as guideposts and safety rails, to warn us away from things that will harm us.

The God I know possesses perfect love, all knowledge, and all power, and invites us to join Him and become like Him.

This is the God I know, and I invite everyone who reads this to come to know Him as I do.

Prophets in the land

2008-11-10T21:28:00.003-07:00

"Make no mistake about it, brothers and sisters, in the months and years ahead, events are likely to require each member to decide whether or not he will follow the First Presidency. Members will find it more difficult to halt longer between two opinions. (See 1 Kgs. 18:21.)

"President Marion G. Romney said, many years ago, that he had 'never hesitated to follow the counsel of the Authorities of the Church even though it crossed my social, professional or political life'. This is a hard doctrine, but it is a particularly vital doctrine in a society which is becoming more wicked. In short, brothers and sisters, not being ashamed of the gospel of Jesus Christ includes not being ashamed of the prophets of Jesus Christ!"
- Elder Neal A. Maxwell, "A More Determined Discipleship", Ensign, Feb. 1979

I see more and more members of the Church saying things like, "I think it's wrong that we are fighting against gay marriage. I think gay people should be allowed to marry. There's nothing wrong with that." Of those people, I ask, is President Monson the prophet of God, or isn't he? Are you going to follow the prophet or no? As for me, I will follow the man whom I sustained as the prophet and President of the Church, because I asked God if he is truly the man who should be the prophet here and now, and He answered me in the affirmative.

Proposition 8

2008-11-05T21:35:00.003-07:00

With all the furor surrounding the passage of Proposition 8, I thought it would be apropos to give you all the view of one member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.

Many have said that the Church is anti-gay. We're not; we're pro-traditional marriage. There is a difference. We strive to love as Christ loved: unconditionally and universally.

Many have said that the Church promotes a double standard. We don't. The standard is the same for everyone, and it's called the law of chastity. Simply stated, the law of chastity prohibits any and all sexual activity outside of the bonds of marriage between one man and one woman. Those with homosexual inclinations can live the law of chastity thus defined.

With sufficient desire and the help of the Lord Jesus Christ, those with homosexual inclinations can change. To categorically deny this is to deny the efficacy of the Atonement and, more to the point for those who don't believe in God at all, the power of the indomitable human spirit.

I hope anyone who reads this will respect my views, even if they don't agree. Remember, prejudice against the religious is just as unjustifiable as any other kind.

Lifestyle

2008-11-03T23:35:00.000-07:00

As I was kicking back in the recliner after a long hard day of school, homework and grading, relaxing with a Caffeine-Free Diet Coke and watching an episode of NUMB3RS, I reflected on how fundamentally different my lifestyle is from "the norm".

And I'm fine with that. :)

Manuscript paper

2008-11-02T20:14:00.004-07:00

I want to give some free advertising to BlankSheetMusic.net. I needed some manuscript paper for this Wexford thing, so I googled up some sites for printing manuscript paper. BlankSheetMusic.net was the first result, so I clicked. It's highly customizable - you can decide how many staves in a set, add clefs, key signatures and time signatures, and even put measure bars on if you like. So if you randomly need some manuscript paper and you don't have any, check out BlankSheetMusic.net.

*goes back to arranging*

Late

2008-10-30T01:09:00.001-06:00

It's 1:09am, I just finished my analysis homework, I have a pile of probably close to 100 calculus midterms to grade by Monday, and I have a funeral to attend on Saturday, for which I am apparently playing a piano number.

Yeah my weekend's gonna be fun.

Spelling, pt. 2

2008-10-24T17:41:00.000-06:00

Today we received in the mail three very official-looking envelopes from Millcreek Township. On the front, they read as follows:

"YOUR COMMUNITY COUNCIL ELECTION BALLET IS ENCLOSED"

I do hope it's a Tchaikovsky.

Politics

2008-10-23T20:39:00.002-06:00

So I usually don't go in for political armchair quarterbacking (but when it comes to football armchair quarterbacking, COUNT ME IN!!), but I saw these on my friend Yakko Warner's blog, and thought I should share them.

No, the media's not biased.
Okay, so maybe a little.
NEWSFLASH: Biden is a moron. If Sarah Palin had made that comment, do you think the media would have ever let her live it down? Yeah, me neither. But when Biden says it, ohhhh, it's just Biden being Biden, ha ha, what a card, like for some reason it's okay that he's an idiot.

And if this was just an isolated occurrence, I would probably let it slide. But Hoover was president in 1929, not FDR, neither of them used TV to talk to the starving masses during the Great Depression (because nobody really had a TV until the late 1930s, and even then it was certainly not the starving masses), neither we nor the French ever drove Hezbollah out of Lebanon (and I doubt we ever will), and every time Joe Biden opens his mouth, I wait with bated breath for him to say something else retarded so I can laugh at him.

And this is the guy that Obama hired to bring experience (especially on foreign policy - right, Lebanon?) and wisdom to the campaign? Give me a break.

Spelling

2008-10-23T19:58:00.002-06:00

Yeah, so I haven't updated for almost two weeks. What are you going to do, call me names in a comment? JOKING

So anyway, the real substance of the post. Today has been a day full of spelling errors. I have witnessed, on this very day alone: seperable, carnaval, repel (when they mean rappel - and on an ad for Snow College, no less!), and √(a²+b²) = a + b. Yes, I know, this last one is not really a spelling error, but it annoys me all the same.

The following is an open letter to everybody.
Dear Everybody:
√(a²+b²) ≠ a + b.
Love,
Me.

Biking and barn dances

2008-10-11T01:03:00.005-06:00

So this morning I was biking from the Institute parking lot down to President's Circle. It was pretty cold, and I was wearing fingerless gloves. In retrospect, this was probably a bad idea, and I'm going to be shopping for better gloves soon. Anyway, I was coming down the hill between the business building and the library, and I see a guy walking along the plaza. Well, I don't *really* want to hit him (unless he's a Democrat or a BYU fan or something JUST KIDDING), so I adjust my course to give him like a five-foot berth. Apparently he hears me coming or something, because he like half-turns around, then freaks out a little and goes, "WHOA, SLOW DOWN DUDE!!"

With that rather lengthy introduction, I now reach the main point of this post, which is to categorically refute this person's command.
a) Granted, I'm going rather fast, but
b) I totally saw you,
c) I gave you a five-foot berth,
d) I am riding under control
e) with a helmet on, and
f) it's like 7:45am on the Friday before spring break and therefore you're one of approximately thirty-six total people on campus. Therefore,
g) no, I'm not going to slow down, because
h) there is no rational reason to and also
i) I am rather enjoying my speedy morning bike ride.

All of that went through my head in approximately 1.3 seconds (a completely bogus and unscientific guesstimate), after which I said "whatever, man!" and started pedaling faster.

Also, it should be noted that barn dances totally rule.

Twitch?

2008-10-07T22:16:00.000-06:00

My left eyelid has been twitching today. Like, once an hour or so, it will suddenly decide that it's TIME FOR A LIGHT SWITCH RAVE and will spaz out for a few seconds. Then it stops, and quietly sits there as if nothing ever happened. What the heck, eyelid?

EPIC WIN pt 2

2008-09-25T22:29:00.000-06:00

#1 USC 21, Oregon State... 27! YEEAAAHHH!!!!

EPIC WIN

2008-09-23T00:25:00.000-06:00

Today, I:
1) Got paid
2) Took my black suit coat to get it altered to fit more better
3) Finished my algebra homework (w00!)
4) Finished grading for the one Foundations class
5) Started AND finished my complex variables homework
6) Biked down a huge hill

All of these are in chronological order, except for one. Can you guess which element is out of order, and where it should really go?

Buyer's Remorse

2008-09-18T19:50:00.002-06:00

So today on my way home from the university, I decided to stop by the local music store and pick up a Snow Patrol CD. I like the Snow Patrol CD I have, I reasoned, so I will probably like whichever other Snow Patrol CD I end up buying. So I used about thirteen of my hard-earned tutoring dollars to purchase Songs for Polarbears, which I believe is their third effort (I own their sophomore album, Final Straw, which I hold to be musical genius).

As I was walking back out to my car, trying to free the music from its plastic-wrapped confinement, the thought momentarily crossed my mind that CD's are kinda like cars, inasmuch as the moment you drive them off the lot (or, as it were, open the plastic wrap), they lose unreasonable amounts of value. I shrugged the thought off, though, fully expecting to enjoy the music, and never expecting to want to return it.

Well, as you may have guessed from the title of this post, I was wrong.

I put the CD in the car's CD player and pulled out the liner notes to do my customary glance over the lyrics. I like lyrics, in general. They are often the finest poetry the modern day has to offer. But, speaking as a man of religious and moral convictions, they are often objectionable. I was rather surprised to find that this was the case with Songs for Polarbears - my cursory examination revealed two instances of the "f-bomb", as the kids are saying these days, as well as sexual innuendo out the wazoo. That gives the album an immediate black mark in my book, because I simply don't enjoy listening to people swear at me, no matter how good the music is.

Which brings me neatly to my next point. It's not that good. The music, that is. I'm up to track 11 now (of 23 - you have to give them credit for trying), and I still haven't heard a song I genuinely like. The magic of Final Straw is distressingly absent. I can't put my finger on what's missing, or perhaps what there's too much of, but I am not enjoying the sound. It's like suddenly they revived Nirvana in their more sedate moments, and I keep hearing things that remind me of Death Cab for Cutie, but I'd really rather listen to the Death Cab song the Snow Patrol song reminds me of.

And so, I have buyer's remorse. But the worst part is, because I was kinda dumb and didn't do the proper iTunes-assisted research beforehand, I'm out $13, and I can't get a full refund. I doubt that I can even exchange it straight across for something I might like better. So I'm up a creek, but at least I can warn other people not to direct their watercraft up this particular creek.

^{^{^{(Apparently I'm just not a polarbear)}}}

More or less scripture

2008-09-17T17:39:00.001-06:00

And when he finisheth his homework, he calleth together his friends and neighbours, saying unto them, Rejoice with me; for I have finished my analysis homework, which was exceeding hard.

\o/

Prophecy and fulfillment

2008-09-07T21:37:00.002-06:00

We Saints of latter days are the literal fulfillment of the prophecy recorded in the 122^nd section of the Doctrine and Covenants: "The ends of the earth shall inquire after thy name... while the pure in heart, and the wise, and the noble, and the virtuous, shall seek counsel, and authority, and blessings continually from under thy hand. And thy people shall never be turned against thee by the testimony of traitors."

Do you ever stop and think that you are the fulfillment of prophecy?

A mathematical observation.

2008-09-06T10:20:00.001-06:00

First of all, any subgroup of index 2 must be normal, so if 2 divides the order of a finite group G and you have an element of order |G|/2, G is not simple.

Secondly, and the *real* point of this post, mathematicians say "let" a lot, as in, "Let x be an element of G." It's entirely possible to read a proof as having a rather bossy tone: "Let x be in G. Don't you DARE not let x be in G. Take H = {e,x,x²,...} - Come on! TAKE IT!! Note that H is cyclic - and if you don't note it, you will be dealt with harshly." I wonder if anyone cowers when they read proofs because the tone interpretation section of their brain is a little bit broken.

The inaugural homework grading post

2008-09-03T23:45:00.001-06:00

I recently accepted a job as a grader for a math class, Foundations of Analysis I. I will be grading papers on a weekly basis, and will probably post something about it each week. Here's this week's entry.

One guy had some totally bogus answer to a question, but then redeemed some style points by writing: "How did I misunderstand the question so badly?" It is followed by a correct statement of the answer (though without proof), written in a hand that suggests it is a last-minute addition to the previously "solved" problem.

Another guy gets style points for entitling an answer: "[LastName]'s Theorem".

Another guy loses style points (and points points) for writing the following after a completely bogus set-theoretic argument: "Therefore, they have the same sets" (speaking of two sets). ... ??

List of albums listened to while grading (or, I should add, just doing homework earlier):
U2 - Achtung Baby
U2 - Zooropa
U2 - All That You Can't Leave Behind
Snow Patrol - Final Straw
Pink Floyd - Dark Side of the Moon (It contains the incredibly apropos track Brain Damage)
Moby - 18

Hours spent grading: 3.5

Brain status after grading: Osterizer'd mush

An observation

2008-08-28T22:05:00.003-06:00

With no disrespect intended towards their physical prowess, stamina or agility, some people just look silly running.

Also, I got a free desk today off KSL Classifieds. \o/

Living the Dream

2008-08-21T17:28:00.004-06:00

First of all, let me say that I apparently suck at blogging.

The last few days have been freaking awesome, and since my mission where the word "awesome" was completely verboten, that is a word I do not use lightly.

Monday: I went to my dad's work and got to play with a pressure washer, my algebra textbook came in the mail, and oh, Jack Johnson concert. I *could* leave it right there, but I don't think I will. It was the best show I've ever gone to. His opening acts were solid, the venue (USANA Amphitheater) is great (except for getting out of the parking lot afterwards), and he and his band were amazing. His keyboardist played a song entitled The Devil Went Down to Bavaria on the accordion (!), a guy told him he wanted his wife to have his babies (which made him actually stop in the middle of a song, reply "You're lovely, and I'm sure your husband has had a few too many drinks", and start the song over), and he totally played all my favorite songs (including dropping a passage from the Cars' Just What I Needed into Sitting, Waiting, Wishing). GOOD TIMES.

Tuesday: Okay, so not so dreamy - my mom and I had a few words. But we'll leave it at that. I couldn't find my credit card, but I suspect it remained at Wendy's from Monday night. I read some really good books.

Wednesday: I went to the dermatologist, and I have no cancerous moles. Hooray! Then I went boating with my sisters. Hooray! I found some clay on the bottom of the lake and made a little penguin. I took a picture, but it is currently locked in the inaccessible depths of my cellphone.

Thursday (today): I had an interview for a job at the math tutoring center. It went really, really well - the lady interviewing me said she was impressed at how much math I remembered over a two-year hiatus, and how I was able to turn to the exact page in the reference textbooks to find what I was looking for. She offered me the job, yay! The big tangible benefit is that I apparently get a half-tuition waiver, but the intangible benefit is that it is one step closer to my dream job of being a teacher. I am so, so excited. Anyway, then I took my mom out to a doctor's appointment and totally bought four Jack Johnson CD's and a Donavon Frankenreiter CD. :)

To explain the title of the post: grad school, tutoring job, watching my life go in the direction I've been dreaming of for the last seven years. I am living the dream. Thanks, Heavenly Father!

Boating

2008-08-13T22:26:00.003-06:00

So I almost got up on waterskis today. I just couldn't quite keep the tips together long enough. I'm thinking, though, is one ski easier than two?

Also, I didn't get sunburned at all (that I've noticed so far, anyway). This is rather remarkable.

Finally, the world will not stop going up and down, and it's kind of disorienting.

Jeans

2008-08-11T21:14:00.001-06:00

So today I went to Old Navy to exchange some jeans.

You see, I bought two pair of jeans when I returned home from my mission, seeing that both pairs I brought out with me had died a noble death from being worn 34682493 times. (That's a lot.) They seemed to fit adequately, and I went home relatively happy.

When I got home and actually wore the jeans more, however, I noticed that while they fit nicely in the waist and through the lower leg, they were so tight in the thigh as to make putting my wallet and cellphone in my pockets rather uncomfortable, if not positively onerous. I concluded that I had purchased somewhat defective pairs of jeans, and so resolved to exchange them.

So I arrived at Old Navy and found several pair of painter's jeans, the jeans I've been wearing for probably a good ten years. They have always treated me well, and have always been my favorite jeans. I went to the dressing room and tried them on. Being more well-informed this time, and knowing what to look for, I made sure to put my wallet in the pocket of each pair I tried on.

The results were rather disappointing. These jeans I tried on were just as tight through the thigh as the ones I was intending to return, and my wallet was pressed just as uncomfortably into my leg.

I have, therefore, postulated the following hypotheses:
a) Old Navy has changed their jean cuts to reflect the growing trend of lame emo kids wanting to wear girl pants, and therefore, even their "relaxed" fit jeans are now not as comfortable as they once were.
b) I developed over-large thighs from too much walking and biking on my mission.
c) Both a) and b).
d) Penguins are pretty cool, as are dinosaurs (especially the utahraptor).

I think we can throw out d), since it is clearly irrelevant to our current discussion, so I think that option c) is the most correct here. So, my faithful readers, I ask: Where can I go to buy jeans that are actually loose through the thigh, instead of just saying they are loose through the thigh while they are in fact conforming to the girl-pants trend?

Thanking you in advance,
Me

The fragile equilibrium of a skid-steer

2008-08-07T18:39:00.001-06:00

So today at my dad's work, I was driving a skid-steer around. Fun times! We are levelling out a large dirt pile and putting it in this ditch over this ginormous steel pipe. So I had a big bucketful of dirt and rocks and cinder blocks and heaven only knows what, and I was on my way over to the ditch to dump it out.

Now, skid-steers don't have any sort of suspension, so if you go over a bump, they rock back and forth like a bucking bronco. However, they have a fairly low center of gravity, so usually you are all right.

Unless, of course, you have a heavy bucketful of dirt, rocks, cinder blocks and nameless yard waste, and you are carrying said bucketful way higher than normal bucket position. Such a course of behavior raises the center of gravity significantly and puts it rather far out to the front.

I'm sure you can see where this is going.

I can has grad school?, or, The Letter

2008-08-06T20:55:00.002-06:00

Dear Spencer:

The Mathematics Department Graduate Admissions Committee has completed its review of your file and has unanimously agreed to admit you to the MS program in mathematics for Fall Semester 2008. ...

Sincerely,
Kenneth Bromberg
Director of Graduate Recruitment

--------

I CAN HAS GRAD SCHOOL!!1!1!!!oneone

Good news

2008-07-30T23:11:00.002-06:00

Last night was way fun, but I'll direct you to Erin's account for the videos, since I don't have them and words won't do justice to the jam-flipping thing. :D

Today was a day full of doing stuff regarding my grad school application. I called the graduate program coordinator at the math department, and she said she handed my file to the guy who reviews the applications. Hurrah!

I went out to SLCC to get the transcript I needed to submit with my applications (yes, plural - I'm applying both for graduate studies and non-matriculated status, just in case I can't get in the math program), and then headed up to the U to turn them in. The lady said that since I was submitting both at once, I didn't need to pay both application fees, just the one. Hurrah again!

Then when I returned home from watching my friend play Crysis (cool enough game so far, but I'm not all that impressed, honestly - maybe I'll give an unofficial review later), I checked my email and found an email from the third professor I asked to write me a letter of recommendation! Hurrah once more!

So basically, grad school is looking more and more possible. :) oh, and the jam things at Village Inn can be made into a toy

Music

2008-07-26T21:46:00.003-06:00

I am currently importing all my CD's into iTunes and putting them on my new/used iPod. I had forgotten how totally rad my CD collection is.

*hums happily to himself about his Snow Patrol CD*

Complications

2008-07-23T12:50:00.004-06:00

Just FYI, it is ridiculously complicated to get an application in to grad school.

This third professor I emailed just got back to me and said she won't be able to write me a letter of recommendation within the next 45 days because she is moving across country. So this leaves me one letter short. Do I submit the application without it, or try to badger somebody else into doing it? Hmmm.

Also, I can't seem to find my copy of my GRE score report, but if memory serves me right, I may have had it automatically submitted to the university. Hopefully this is the case.

BTW, the two professors I was trying to get a hold of were finally in their offices and said they would write the letters. Yay!

Disappointment

2008-07-21T22:22:00.002-06:00

First off, happy notes from today: I bought Erin's 4gig iPod nano for $90, and I just watched the Bourne Identity. Sweet movie, but I'm still kinda confused.

So today I decided I'd get crack-a-lackin' on the grad school application. Two-ish weeks ago, I emailed three of my old professors to see if they'd write me letters of recommendation. I still haven't heard from any of them. Since I had spare time and the car today, I decided to do some errand-running. First I went out to the community college to get some transcripts and see if my one math teacher was there, which she wasn't. Sweet.

Up to the U I go and knock on the three professors' doors. None of them answered. Excellent.

I went over to the undergrad advisor's office to see if she knew if any of them were in town, and she said she'd seen one of them, but hadn't seen the other in a long while and knew that the third was on sabbatical this past year. Great!

So then I went up to the department office to talk to the graduate program coordinator and ask her how late they would possibly process an application. She was busy when I first got up there, so I was chatting with the secretary (who still totally remembers me from when I was a student there), and she said that the one professor is in California and she's not sure if he's coming back, let alone when (Rad!). She said that she had seen the other two professors around, though, which is a small bonus.

Then the graduate program coordinator became un-busy. She said that the professor who reviews the applications is out of town and she doesn't know when he'll be back (Awesome!), and recommended that I ask the college admissions office to see when their absolute deadline is. And she would like my application across her desk in the next few days. Rock on!

So I head over to the admissions office, and find out that the absolute deadline is July 31, as in, a week from Thursday. Woo!

To sum: I have to get three letters of recommendation from professors who may or may not even be in the country, let alone the state, give them with my now-complete application for graduate school to the coordinator in the next few days, and hope that she can track down the chairman to have him review the application. Then I hope I get admitted to the mathematics program, and then I hope that all this happens before July 31 so I can get an application in to the college.

Make sure that if you leave a comment, that you leave it loud, so that I can hear it over the cold, icy tinkling noise of my shattering dreams.

okay fine it's not that bad, I can still get in next year, and I will still put in an application to be an undergrad student this year, I just really wanted grad school this semester.

Update: The professor who was in California just emailed me and said he won't be able to write a letter. Hoorah.

T-shirts

2008-07-15T22:41:00.004-06:00

Oh my gosh. My friend Ben just sent me to this website called Threadless (WARNING: DO NOT CLICK if you are a compulsive buyer of rad t-shirts! Significant wallet emptying may occur). I am sorely tempted.

And now I wish I had more money.

The pleasures and pitfalls of owning a freakin' sweet vacuum cleaner

2008-07-11T00:09:00.003-06:00

So while I was gone, my parents bought a Dyson Animal vacuum cleaner. This thing freakin' rules. It glides along the floor instead of sticking to it so hard you feel you have to shove it along, it's rather quiet for a vacuum cleaner, and it leaves your carpets sparkling clean. And every time I say to myself, "Self, I think it would be really cool if this vacuum cleaner did this and such," I start toying around with it and BY GOLLY IT DOES. I tell you, this vacuum cleaner makes vacuuming as fun as Strong Bad makes drawing.

But having a freakin' sweet vacuum cleaner isn't all fun and games. For instance, yesterday, I decided that I was going to go on a room cleaning spree. I've been gone for two years, I don't think anyone's ever vacuumed under my bed, and there is so much accumulated shiz on my shelves that I can't even tell what color they are under all the stuff on them. Oh, and I wanted to put my CD's up on my chest of drawers instead of downstairs on the bookcase. So I get to cleaning, and my new elders quorum presidency stops by, and I get back to cleaning, and I finally get to the point where everything is off my shelves and I am ready to vacuum them off. (So much dust!) So I walk on over to the closet where we keep the vacuum, and I open up the door, and the vacuum is not there. Mom, where's the vacuum? Oh, Cara took it home with her so she could vacuum her house. Way to go, vacuum thief! (In her defense, her vacuum cleaner is apparently broken.) So, pitfall #1: people will abscond with your vacuum cleaner if you aren't continually vigilant, watching it like a hawk watches the little mouse he's about to dive on, or like my nephew Sam watches the new remake of American Gladiators, which is to say, intently and with rapt concentration. It is now about 10:00pm, but I am in Room Cleaning Mode 3000^TM, and I cannot rest, I cannot sleep for an instant, until I finish vacuuming off my shelves.

So I decided to get the vacuum from my sister's house. I make the short trip over there, and she hasn't yet vacuumed the rooms she wanted to vacuum with it, so being the kind, considerate and caring individual that I am, I cracked the proverbial whip and made her vacuum them so I could finish what I was doing. Just kidding, I vacuumed most of her kitchen, but then she took over. (Aside: Who puts carpet in their kitchen? Crazy people who add a kitchen on in the mid-70's and cover it with hideous yellow-flowered wallpaper, that's who.)

I finally got my shelves vacuumed off and all the crap off my bed and went to sleep (after, I should mention, I watched Vantage Point at my sister's house). The next morning (being this morning), I woke up and went back to the cleaning that I didn't get around to last night, ie. vacuuming the floor and getting all the marks off the walls.

Pitfall #2: When you have a freakin' sweet vacuum cleaner that totally works really well, it pulls a disgustingly voluminous amount of dust, dirt and unidentifiable filth out of your carpets, and dumps it into a clear container on the front of your vacuum. Ew? At least you can tell it's working, I guess. I would say that between the regular floor, the area under my bed, and the dust refugee camp that is my closets, I got a dust ball that was probably equivalent in volume to your average cantaloupe, or perhaps a small watermelon. It's hard to say, because our freakin' sweet vacuum cleaner has an easy-empty feature (pleasure!) that I employed several times during the vacuuming marathon.

But overall, I would say that the pleasures of having a clean carpet and getting it clean in an exceedingly cool manner FAR outweigh the pitfalls of vacuum thievery and accumulated grossness.

Interesting

2008-06-27T22:06:00.002-06:00

Today was an interesting day, filled with many and varied adventures.

It began at 5:00am, when I awoke to prepare to go to the temple at 7:00. The temple was marvelous. I decided not to wear my ankle brace to keep things uncomplicated, and it actually didn't hurt too much. It was really nice to get back to the temple, and wouldn't you know it, I totally learned something.

It continued with a trip up to my brother-in-law's office at Farmington to pick up passes for free tickets to tomorrow's Blaze game, and then a trip down to the ~~Delta Center~~ Energy Solutions Arena box office to redeem said pass. That's right, I have two free tickets to the 18th row of the first round of the AFL playoffs. Nice. (Anybody want the other one? I'm sure we'll find good use for it if not, but y'know.)

Then we find me back at home base for a quick lunch, then going out with the missionaries. I know, I'm such a sucker for missionary work right now. The appointment went well, it was with a nice lady named Dora from Guatemala. The one elder, Elder Parkes, is pretty cool, but the other, Elder Downing, is very quiet and reserved. Probably just because Elder Parkes is more outgoing. But anyway.

When I returned from my missionarying, I found a UPS InfoNotice on the door. Apparently they had tried for the second time to deliver my new phone, but we weren't here, and they were unable to accept the last InfoNotice that we signed and stuck to the door because it requires a signature in person. The InfoNotice said that they would try to redeliver on Monday, but unfortunately, we are not going to be in town on Monday. So I called up the UPS people and they said they would hold it for me at the hub, but I would have to pick it up between 7:00 and 7:30. Remember that, it becomes important later.

Then I went swimming with two of my sisters and their kids. It was fun! I noticed (far too late of course) that during the course of shaving my chest (look, it makes things a lot more comfortable), I totally missed a spot. :S Oh well, it was still fun. I still suck at swimming, but it was amusing to goof off in the pool with my nieces and nephews.

Afterwards, we went (in swimsuits (with dress-type covers for the ladies for modesty's sake, tyvm)) to the Distribution Center because my sister needed to get a copy of the video Called to Serve. We also ended up getting several copies of the new First Presidency picture.

Then I came home again and we had dinner. And then I noticed that it was 7:08 and I still needed to pick up my cellphone from the UPS hub which is probably like 20 minutes away. HI-YO SILVER!!! I made it to like 20th West and 21st South or so in under 20 minutes, because I rule and there was no traffic. What time did the UPS hub close again? That's right, 7:30. And what time did I get there? That's right, 7:29, baby. I fetching rule.

And so does my new phone, as I discovered when I got it home and started playing with it. It has the capability to talk to wireless routers, and apparently whenever you're connected to a wireless router, your calls are free and don't count towards your airtime. And since it just so happens that we have a wireless router here... Score!

And then I watched Numbers, which I have definitely missed watching over the past two years. Good thing my sister got me a copy of one of the seasons I missed for my birthday. :D

And now you have made it to the very end of this very long post. Good job. You get a cookie. No, not a real one.

Skadoosh

2008-06-26T21:19:00.002-06:00

So we just saw Kung Fu Panda. It was a pretty rad movie. Anything with Jack Black in it is bound to be amusing, and this did not disappoint. Also, look at the supporting cast: Angelina Jolie? Lucy Liu? Jackie Chan? I laughed a lot, I learned a valuable lesson in believing in yourself, and I thought the fight sequences were pretty rad. There's an enchanting cartoony feel to the whole movie - it doesn't take itself too seriously, which I liked. But before I turn into Movie Snob 3000, I will wrap this post up and tell you to just go see it.

Foodies

2008-06-26T08:18:00.003-06:00

You know your sister watches the Food Network a lot when...

Sam and Maddie (my niece and nephew) and I were leaving the grocery store yesterday after picking up some Creamies - during my two-year exodus to the land we call Ohio, I had forgotten just how delicious they are, but now I am happily reminded. As we were waiting to turn left out of the parking lot, Sam looks over at the car next to us and says, "That lady looks like Rachael Ray."

The crazy part is, she totally did.

Returning

2008-06-23T22:41:00.005-06:00

So I have been back from my mission for almost a week and I am already scheduled to go out on an appointment with the missionaries tomorrow. It should be fun. If it falls through and they want to take me tracting, screw them, my ankle fetching hurts. ;)

EDIT: The lady called and rescheduled for Friday. Bum.

Return?

2008-06-18T20:36:00.002-06:00

I guarantee that I could come up with a more creative title for this post, but holy fetch man, I am back from Ohio! Also, holy fetch man, I haven't slept since 3:00am Utah time Tuesday morning! Also, I may have given myself an avulsion fracture of the lateral malleolus since I have been back in Utah.

I know that all this information is likely very interesting and tantalizing to you, but forget you, I am sleeping for *at least* twelve hours straight. 14 if I can get it.

2006-06-13T23:51:00.000-06:00

42.

2006-06-13T23:42:00.000-06:00

So, more than likely, this is my last post for two years.

WRITE ME LETTERS.

Elder Spencer Franklin Bagley
Ohio Cincinnati Mission

(June 14 - early July)
Provo MTC
2005 N 900 E
Provo, UT 84604

(early July onward)
4355 Ferguson Dr Ste 125
Cincinnati, OH 45245

A story of bike defacement - with pictures!!

2006-06-03T11:26:00.000-06:00

Several websites recommend defacing your bike to reduce the likelihood of it being stolen, especially if it is a new-looking, shiny mountain bike. Like this one, which just happens to be mine.

I decided that it was time for Mr. Bike to meet Mr. Blue Masking Tape and Mr. Krylon Ultra-Flat Black Spray Paint Can. Mr. Newspaper is just sort of along for the ride.

I decided to only paint the blue parts, saving the (much larger and more work-intensive) silver area for a later decision, after I see how it looks after the first painting. So, off comes the front wheel, and like an hour of masking stuff out later:

Now see, spray paint fumes are bad for you. The warning on the back of Mr. Krylon says that it contains ketones, hydrocarbon propellants, xylene, acetates, ethylbenzene and toluene, several of which can cause brain damage in high concentrations. I decided to protect myself, because I like my brain, thanks.

Gangsta.

Some time and re-masking of areas that I'd missed before later, I've completed the paint job.

You can't see it very well in the picture (well, actually, you can't see it at all), but the finish is quite nice - it's a smooth, almost satiny-looking finish. In about ten minutes, I'm going to put another coat on, then let that dry, then remove the tape and decide whether it still looks shiny enough to merit painting the silver.

2006-05-31T22:23:00.000-06:00

So in two weeks, I'll be at the MTC.

Crazy.

2006-05-30T22:34:00.000-06:00

You see, my birthmom (and her husband) got me a digital camera for my birthday/graduation/mission present. (It is, in fact, exactly the camera I would have purchased had I been purchasing a camera. Coolest birthmom ever? I THINK SO.)

I'm having far too much fun with this.

2006-05-30T00:07:00.000-06:00

If anyone can tell me what my new subtitle means, WITHOUT using Google, I shall be quite impressed.

ps. My old subtitle, "a serviceable villain", is from the Beatles song I Am The Walrus.

2006-05-27T19:02:00.000-06:00

Pre-mission oration: PREPARED, REHEARSED, AND TIMED
Tie: NOT YET CHOSEN

2006-05-23T21:46:00.000-06:00

It would seem that they were only taking care of the cockatoo for some time, because it is gone. Perhaps back to its original owner, perhaps to that God Who gave it life. One way or another, I don't really care beyond the fact that the unearthly screaming has ceased.

ps. If it *has* gone home to the God Who gave it life, don't worry, it wasn't me.

pps. For only starting it yesterday, my pre-mission oration is coming along quite nicely.

ppps. It's back. ~x[

2006-05-22T23:28:00.000-06:00

A preview, just for my blogger friends, of what sorts of topics my pre-mission oration may or may not address:

The promise of minor theophany
Neal A. Maxwell's "micromanifestations"
Cellphones (in conjunction with the 14th Article of Faith: "We believe in making an object lesson out of absolutely anything")
Testimony (at the recommendation of my bishop, who is allowing me to grab-bag with this talk)
C.S. Lewis's Mere Christianity
Exactly why I currently look like an albino East Indian

2006-05-20T20:27:00.000-06:00

The people who live next door to the people who live across the street from us have apparently acquired a cockatoo.

I have never before wanted so badly for something to DIE.

2006-05-16T22:45:00.000-06:00

Hey everybody!

Thanks for remembering that it was my birthday on Saturday and saying happy birthday to me! Love you too, guys!

*hides in a corner where the unlove can only come from TWO directions.*

No, really, it's okay. Only one of my siblings called me, so they're all on my List, and I'm sure you all know which List I'm talking about. (It should be noted that another one actually came to Glenwood with us and bought me a cake, so she's off my List.)

2006-05-10T22:51:00.000-06:00

All my grades are in!
CS 3500: A-. I'm happy - I didn't do too well on a couple of homework assignments, but got huge bonus points on the last two.
Math 5210 (analysis): A-. HUGE RELIEF - the curve must have been really nice, because I really didn't do well in that one.
Math 5320 (algebra): A-. I'm pleased.
Math 5405 (cryptography): A. I did really well in the class, plus Savin loves me. :D
GPA: 3.764.
Overall U of U GPA: 3.734. Not bad!

*ahem* Now that I'm done bragging, allow me to say that the party for Kevin and Mary was awesome and that the rest of you slackers totally missed out. We played some ultimate frisbee, a really great game, 4v4. Brent and I had a cool midair collision. :D

The temple trip tomorrow doesn't look like it's going to happen (Mom and I are going to the family history library), but I think I will take Michelle up on her offer to go to the 10:00 (AM, of course) session on Friday.